Man and Wrath: how long would it take me to calm down

 Everyone has their share of bad days, even I'm not a stranger towards this predicament. As a matter of fact, I would very much like to share with you how I would handle my bad days, in particular, usually involves anger/wrath. To be honest with you, considering my potential audience, I am very much concerned a possible threat, considering living in a small country where pretty much everyone can track you down.

That is why more than often, I value my private life, it is not much, and as though the benefits are often minimal, I am sure that some people would agree the value of their privacy.

So the main point, and I would assume it is nothing but a short one, I had just finished my online classes for the morning, and awaiting for afternoon classes, I was relaxing outside by the porch, taking a breather and a warm sunlight.

NOTICE:

"As far as I would like to add in the few details as to what caused my bad day and anger, unfortunately I am unable to disclose any information, in order to protect the identity of affected parties, and also myself."

As soon as it happened, I was entirely upset, as I was caught off guard by their intention, understandably, these situation are often controllable, but it often comes with a price, either emotionally or financially. Thus I brute-force resolve the issue, albeit temporarily, I would speculate that such solution may not last.

Throughout the classes in the afternoon, I am struggling to cope up due to what had transpired. I lost my appetite, I feel nauseous  and I was unable to let go of that confrontation. It was expected, but it was uncalled for to appear in such obnoxious behavior. As soon as the class ended, I decided to take a walk, and probably do some chores, to let off some of my steam.

And to bottle up that anger, it was extremely toxic, especially for someone who is struggling. And so I simply used a punching bag to further let off some steam. Sadly, the blow was grandeur, I unintentionally destroyed the punching bag.

With no other ways to let it all go, I simply went on a "Rant-page" and just express what was on my mind, mostly in a British Accent. All the while, I used so much slangs that a "Roadman" would use, and lastly, I asked for the impossible, an apology.

Now by the time that I am writing this entry, I am mostly calmed down, I simply need to forget what has happened, and instead, just be on my way. Because if there is one thing that I learn from that bad day, is that:

1. At times, bad days happened just about on everyone, and everyone played their roles, even myself.

2. It is best to let it all go instead of wishing ill to those who caused you grief, you are better than that, and we know, we can be better.

3. Sometimes people tend to follow their emotions, and failed to see reason, like them and myself, admittedly.

4. Although when understanding failed to reach, sometimes it is not worth it to prolonged the issue, especially if they simply lash out whilst another party comes in a calm manner.

As a matter of fact, my approach was initially calmed, though I failed to counteract that wrathful manner in a calming manner. As a result, I was also affected.

In a way, perhaps that is why I request an apology, though when things couldn't go smoothly, I would just say:

"It's not worth it"

Although, it was also my own mistake for not handling my anger smoothly, it is inevitable that I may have wrathful emotion, but concurrently, even despite the challenges, I am doing my best.

So moral of the story, sometimes it is unsatisfactory to have bad days, especially when it gives wrath. Letting it go as better as moving forward.

To quote a well-known figure;

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"

To summarize, I suppose one advice to overcome bad days, is just live your days like it's none of their business, it is permissible to resolve any issue, but not at the cost of emotional degradation, especially if the demand is just one-sided.

Have a good weekend everyone, and please do chin up, if bad days were to come to you. And I do wish you all well.

Stay healthy and stay safe.

彼女

皆様こんにちは。

今回はこのポストは日本語を使っている。その理由は日本語を話す久しぶりのでこの言語を忘れたくないから。もちろんほとんどの読者は英語で読むだけど、翻訳を使ってもいい。実は私の日本語授業はもう終わったが、まだ上手ない。だからといって現在まで日本語を学び続けている。

ちなみに日本語で長いポストを書く最初だから、このポストは多分短いだ。

このポストの題名は「彼女」と言った。

なぜその題名を選んだ。

実はこのポストは私の夢について話したいと思う。理由が分からないけど、夢の中に彼女の顔を見た。昼寝から起きたら、その顔をまだ忘れなかった。しかし、他の夢とは異なり彼女の夢を思い出した。この夢の中に彼女の顔が見たけど、私にとって見たくなかった。もし彼女が来たら、他の方向を見た。同じ部屋にいたら、速く出かけした。

しかし、少しの間遠いで彼女の顔を見たかった。心の中に彼女と話したいと考えたが、それはできなかった。しばらくして私は起きた。

「やっぱり夢か」と考えた。

次の起こるは少し面白いけど、急に涙があった。そして、悲しい感じるがあった。しかし、その悲しみ感じはうつ病の悲しみがなかった。今回はこの悲しみ感じるは孤独の悲しみ。

例えばあの人に会いたかったが、この人は昔もういなくなった。それはもう知っているが、まだ心の中にこの人に会いたかった。

この孤独からの悲しみが普通だけど、その一番の悲しいのは彼女の顔がまだ覚えたが、彼女の名前が忘れしまった…

Challenging Days Ahead

 Hello and greetings,

Now usually, I would like to share you all about what is on my mind in a descriptive abstract form, however, with this recent happenings concerning the reemergence of the Coronavirus local community spread, such happenings can be overwhelmingly worrisome to the point that I have to share my impression as to how, as people of Brunei is reacting to the recent developments of the situation.

Living in Brunei, especially in times of the pandemic, much of our leisure and enjoyment has been taken away, in particular, our luxury to travel abroad. Even despite one year of no COVID-19 community spread, we were slowly given the things that we usually enjoy, mass gatherings, participating and organising events, and even the chance to visit loved ones during festivities (I'm sadly unable to celebrate Eid Dul Fitr for two years now, that'll be another story for another time), to some, it is considered to be a "better than nothing" aspect, but to most, people wanted more than just having their lives back to normal.

At that time, I really think that the only way for me to be able to go back to a country I wish to explore, I have to find a reason and the means to go back there. I was quite desperate, at the time, I thought to myself, "As soon as I'm vaccinated, surely it's okay for me to travel there,", but even then, my reasons were admittedly, a selfish one, thus challenging as it may be, I will always find a way to get there, even if it means to accept challenges that is even beyond my own capabilities.

And simply to humor you, more than few times, I swear that more than times, I would rather risk myself not only for growth, but to find enjoyment at the same time. As they always say, "Good things may happen to those who remain persevere".

Anyway, what has transpired on 7th August, was an event that is shook an entire country, Whatsapp Groups posting forwarded messages without regard of authenticity, Reddit posts and comments talking about a rumor that has yet to be confirmed, and then constant fear mongering, taking place in every social media. Before we know it, our lives has revert back to its lockdown days, yet again, all simply due to recklessness of some individuals.

From one hotspot, to three hotspots, as of currently, it is to be believed that there are now increase of Coronavirus cases.

Although if I must inquire, what is the most appropriate question in this situation?

WHO TO BLAME? ; Or

WHAT WENT WRONG?

I am very positive that the most appropriate answer is "WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO?" and "WHAT MUST BE DONE?". In fact, to point fingers to other people gives no joy but to satiate our frustrations and possibly even anger.

Hence, it is very much advisable to remain calm, follow the guidelines as instructed and despite the challenging days ahead, be confident that your normality will return as always.

And all that one needs to do is simply, follow the guidelines.

I suppose that is all from me, I do apologize for the lack of updates, as it is truly difficult to even maintain balance between work, rest, leisure, and even indulge to certain pastimes.

Stay healthy, stay well, stay safe, and do that, normalcy will surely return.

Of course, another word of advice;

"To be prideful in one's peak, without knowing thy origins, always doomed to fall, forgetting the reasons of their rise."

"One that knows humility, values not only the serenity of silence, but to appreciate the limelight that shine upon thee"

The First/最初

 Hello and greetings,

Welcome the vast empty space of my space of expression. I must be honest, I am very much comfortable in posting my thoughts via Stories, or even expressions in Instagram posts, however, I am very much would like to try out blogs, simply to share my thoughts and expressions, in hopes for your feedbacks, your views and opinions.

As they always say, human beings and their complexity of independent minds can be quite interesting, it always reminds me as to how existence of human creativity, innovations and stories helped define existence more meaningful and filled with wonders. However, I cannot even deny that the ills of existence could also defines existence as a bittersweet thing.

To what extent that human creativity and expressionism within various industries has molded my thoughts into creating a vast labyrinth of possibilities, the potential is truly limitless, and I cannot fathom as to how much discoveries that we can possibly find.

Mysterious as the undiscovered vast ocean depth, unreachable as our observable universe, or rather, our existence.

And so I welcome you, to the complex labyrinth of minds.

しかし時々わしの一部のブログは言語が日本語だから、一部のポストは一部人が分からない。それだからわしはまず謝るべきだ。

多分わしはこのブログで日本語をあまり使わない。その理由はわしの生活についてインスタポストに日本語を使う。だが、一部だけだ。

皆様、わしの国人達の友よも日本国人の友よへ

わしのブログをようこそ。

ほとんどのポストは英語だけど、そのブログは多分英語を学ぶのチャンスだ。わしは日本語も使うけど、目的はわしの好きな言語を改善するのために。

それでは

皆様よろしくお願いいたします。

Thank you

ありがとうございます